2002-12-04 - 1:22 a.m. : Ventis should have warning labels
I am noticing the more caffeinated I become, the less coherent and straight-thinking I am. More caffeine indicates a lessening of focus as well, also a sharp decline in my skills as a typist. As usual, I am here avoiding the realities of the world. School is, thankfully, almost done. Just a couple papers. All my exams are done. None of the papers are huge. I think there is something wrong with me, physically. Every time I eat, for the past week, I get bad cramps. Sometimes, really bad. And no, it's not that time of the month. Nausea comes quickly as well. Worst of all, my usually overdriven sex drive has died off. Mostly because my tummy is constantly at war. I think there is a creature inside of me and it is trying to rip through.

My diary entries have tapered off. I know, I'm sorry. Wait a minute who am I apologizing to? I have no regular readers...

I miss my best friend a lot. Oh great, now I've gone ahead and done it! I'm all funked out. On a whim, I am dialing her cellphone. There... is... no... answer. I don't think I am leaving a message. Nope. No message. I just hung up. It's bizarre cause I miss her, but... I don't know, I feel like she is turning away from me. Growing away. I never imagined it would be that way. Ever since my neighbor and I split ways, she just doesn't see me as much. I'm sure some of it is my fault too though. It's easier for me to spend time with J than most friends of mine really. But school is ending. You know, I think I have almost everybody's presents figured out except my best friend and my boyfriend. [The cramps are starting again. Are cramps a sign of an ulcer?]

You know, I am sitting here meditating on everything, and I am noticing everyone has become quite distant lately. That makes me sad. Ok I think I am going to take The Conformist into bed with me. Bye. now.

0 of you have had really deep thoughts
last * next
Waiting 4 Sadie - 2006-05-30
Do Over - 2006-05-02
An end and a beginning - 2006-04-22
Brain Bun - 2006-04-11
What Dreams May Come - 2006-04-04



The American Red Cross