Hello. Well, I'm at work on this lovely Friday. Been here since about 9:30 which is not the best feeling in the world, but at least I might be able to wiggle out of here a little early. Fiancee and I want to get to the theaters and buy tickets for us and four others to watch X2 tonight. Yay for geekdom! I wasn't at all enthused about X2 but not because of the movie jsut because there have been so many other things plaguing my mind. I doubt you could really blame me at this point though.

Whoa I just noticed Diaryland had the wrong date up there. Weird. I was doing so well here at work but now it's the afternoon, I had pizza for lunch (shrooms and onions) and my boss has been distracted by something so I've been pretty non-busy. This all adds up to a very sleepy me.

I love BabyCenter Bulletin Boards. I know I have raved about them before but they are just lifesavers. I don't know how confused and lonely feeling and ignorant I'd be if it weren't for those boards. It feels really good to have other girls to stack yourself up against as far as pregnancy goes. It helps they are going through something just before you do. And they bring up a lot of issues that don't even occur to me. For example, today one of the girls started a thread about who would be present in the delivery room. I have to admit, it is something I have thought about and it is something I have strong feelings about, but it is not something I have actually discussed with J. And it is not something anyone has really brought up to us. I have decided I only really want J in there. I'm ok with my mom being in there, but I just know J's mom would want to be in there too. And I am not at all comfortable with that. I am hardly comfortable with the idea of my mom being in there! So I don't think either of our moms should be there. I have a lot of faith in J and me, and in our doctor. I think we will be fine like that, but I am nervous about the topic coming up and having to hurt people's feelings.

As a matter of fact, the whole delivery process has taken more of a center stage in my thoughts. I am really scared but more because I just don't know anything! I have never seen a live birth and let's face it, what you see on TV in shows like Baby Story and Birth Day are just not the same. And they also make me uncomfortable as soon as the labor gets rough. I guess it is mostly because I don't want an epidural. I mean I am really really petro of the epidural. And I keep reasoning that for hundreds of years it was never used so is it really that necessary? I'd like to think not and that I will be just fine without it but...

*sigh*

Ok time to go to the message boards for some support on this. Just thought I'd fill the diary world in.