2005-03-16 - 3:35 a.m. : blegh
I've been a bad diary mama lately. My apologies.

Today is one of those nights where the reason I'm here is because I'm sad but in a way the sadness has me so deflated that I just feel it's almost pointless to blab.

But I'll blab and I'll blab about all kinds of silly and totally trivial matters. Today is the end of Tuesday. I know that at the top of my diary it states otherwise, but believe me when I say that it is the end of Tuesday right now.

It's been a pretty decent day. I spent way more than I should have at Michael's. I had dinner at Chicken Kitchen and dessert at Cold Stone Creamery, aka Food of the GODS. Yeah that was incredible and totally blew me away.

Tomorrow, I have an art history exam for which I'm 25% prepared. As I have stated here a billion gazillion fafillion times however, I DON'T CARE.

I did get a pretty neat idea for my creative project for the Spenser class though. It requires a camera, a woman, Photoshop, and accessories- many accesories. I think I will employ my best friend for this one. I'm really excited about it and am going to start practicing taking some pictures. Hooray for artsy fartsy pictures.

J put M down for a nap way too late (around 8) and then didn't wake him up. M woke up at a quarter to ten and I mean he WOKE UP. We tried putting him back to bed an hour or so later but it wasn't going to happen. He kicked and jumped and sang and talked and cried in there for THREE hours until I got fed up and marched into his room at 1:30 in the morning. I scooped him up and brought him with me to a dark living room where we promptly snuggled. I almost fell asleep, he played and sang and played and sang. At about 2:15 I got tired yet again, got up and warmed some milk for him, let him have it while I snuggled next to him, and when he was done, I gathered him up in my arms and soothed him a bit, took him already slightly protesting to his room, and set him down. He cried for about ten minutes. He continued to occasionally call out something or the other for another thirty. It's been finally silent since then.

And then I came to the computer and saw that Baby A passed away this morning and that just crushed everything to bits inside me. I just haven't been able to CARE much about anything since then. I feel defeated and it's not even like she's related to me.

In other entirely trivial news, Bruce the Betta seems to be doing quite well. He happily builds foamy nests in his vase/tank and he eats the food I put in there and it's NOT those repulsive blood worms. Louis the Ghost Eel however is NOT, to my knowledge, eating yet. It looks bad for poor Louis.

Tomorrow, I must remind myself to photograph my new vinyl minions that sit on my desk watching over and behind me. O gave them to me and I heart them.

What's that? You want to know what I bought at Michael's? I'll tell you. I bought a heating gun, 16 spools of grosgrain ribbon because you never can have enough grosgrain ribbon, these entirely neat number stickers, sticker squares, a zig pen, a corner rounder, refills for my paper trimmer, a MM hammer for my eyelet setter because I'm sick and tired of dragging the heaving hulk of a hammer out of the toolbox for a couple measley eyelets, and a small gift for Little Satan. Little Satan is HMG's youngest son. Now you know. Then I went next door to Barnes and Nobles and I bought a couple more gifts for him as I am a bad bad friend and didn't get him anything on time for his birthday. Don't worry Little Satan, I'll make it up to you!

I am debating waking up at 11, taking M to my grandmother's, going to starbucks with the gift card Foxy sent me, and studying there. I think I'm in my house way too much.

Oh and this patch? Wow is my body having a rough time with it. Today was my change day. Yesterday and this morning I had cramping. Later this afternoon, I had spotting. It turns out my doctor left me a message and said that what I went through the second day (aka Day Of Cramping Hell) was NOT normal and that if it happens again the second cycle, he wants me to come in. Now I'm all fucking confused about the patch and I wonder if I fucked it up and maybe got my change day mixed up.

0 of you have had really deep thoughts
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