2005-05-16 - 3:28 p.m. : You little sneak
I have spent the majority of today on here pretty much editing names so they are purposely vague. This is completely and totally due to the fact that Disco's diary was discovered by his family over the weekend.

Here's the thing, I'm not very apologetic about things I write. I understand that I may have an occasional entry where I say something not nice about someone I care about but it's therapy. I can't hold all of this stuff inside of me. So just tell them to their face, right? Wrong. There are some things that take entirely too much effort to explain properly. Many times, the things I feel about people at certain times that I divulge here, are those types of things. They are just way too complicated to explain and not worth the time.
I know this because several months ago I decided to be honest with a family member. I sent her an email because she kept complaining to myself, my friends, and some of my family members that I just didn't seem to care about her anymore and that I always seemed to ignore her or be very unresponsive. I tried my best to explain myself to her as honestly and lovingly as I could and it blew up in my face. She just freaked out and wrote back one of the absolute nastiest e-mails that has ever been addressed to yours truly. Now, it took a lot of work to smooth that whole thing over and it wasn't even worth the work because our relationship has never been the same again. We don't talk. When I see her, it's totally awkward. And she hasn't changed a thing for the better, only for the worse. What's more, she even dragged a friend of mine into it making things prickly with her for a couple of days as well. And this all because I was honest. Which is what drives me the most batty but whatever things just happen that way.

So, I'm pretty sure I got most of the identifying "flags" out of this mess. It's so odd this blog mystery. It's tough finding a middle path between therapy and safety but I think I'm better now. And besides, Supergold has the option to make private entries so that makes me feel comfy. If you get confused with abbreviations, just ask me. I might make a private cast page one day or something.

I'm gonna stop feeling sneaky now.

2 of you have had really deep thoughts
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