I think it really goes to show you what kind of twisted standards there are for moms today. And maybe this is an American thing. I've been reading about that-- the differences in pressures on motherhood in different cultures and it seems like Americans are really hard on themselves. Where did everything get so confusing, so mixed up? When was being a mom just not good enough? I blame Freud. Now yes I understand that Freud has contributed many positive things to the field of psychology but I think one thing he contributed, maybe without even realizing it, was this fear to mothers everywhere. If you're not a good mom you will screw up your child forever and ever and ever amen. And I know of course that no one ever really wants to be the mom of the serial killer or other demented personality but most of those people have serious issues and sometimes their mothers had little to do with it. And really? The number of serial killers and other seriously out there people is quite small in proportion to the number of quite normal slightly silly people in this world of which I definitely belong to. If you think about it, I bet the number of deranged people is quite closer to the number of almost perfect or even just incredibly amazing awe-inspiring people.
THe more I think about it, the more and more unhealthy I see this whole knocking ourselves up thing to be. I mean if we're here calling ourselves bad moms and doubting what we do for our children then, well, aren't the kids going to pick up on that? I just don't want to be a great mom. I don't want to be a perfect mom. I want to be a mom. One that can have a lot of fun, one that screws up here and there, one that just goes. Moves. Laughs. My son really cares about me and loves me and adores me even. I'm doing him a total injustice if I doubt myself, if I sit there wondering about what effect I'm having on him. Right?
I don't know, I guess as long as my child is able to laugh and smile and be happy then I guess I'm doing good enough. And really good enough is just fine god dammit. Maybe not for everyone but seriously? I'll definitely sit out the Best Mom in the Universe Competition thank you very much.
