2005-03-08 - 1:42 p.m. : "Jocelyn, do you like sandwiches?"
What I should be doing right this very moment is sitting here and typing away about some fabulously complex aspect of Spenser's Amoretti. But for the life of me, I can't think of anything fabulously complex that wasn't already dissected to bits and pieces in class. So the next thing on the priority list I should be doing is taking a good hot shower and washing my filthy hair and reinvigorating myself since M is taking a nap FINALLY. Before I do that, I guess that maybe I should run down to check the mailbox because some bulky mailbox stuffing packages, i.e. the BEST KIND, are expected to arrive any day now; however, the weather is really crappy right now. What I should not be doing is sitting here once again wasting my time. But here I am.
The event Saturday went off without a hitch on our part. I must emphasize the our for today is a day of emphasis and italics apparently. The reason I say our is because a few hitches did indeed occur but we were not responsible for any of them AT ALL and that is a fantastic thing.
Hitch 1) A table collapsed while people were finding their seats. A whole side just gave way. Water spilled everywhere, a fish went flying (thankfully someone caught it and dumped it in right away), china, glass, and silverware, slid down in a dinnerware waterfall. The reason this is not our hitch is because we did not set up the tables, the arena did.
Hitch 2) J Secada did his 20 minute set which ended in a really good performance from Cabaret. Now, wait a second. A performance from Cabaret, complete with lingerie clad dancers and totally vulgar (i.e. HILARIOUS) jokes, at a charity gala for an organization concerned with children. A function which even had some of these lucky children in attendance. This is not our hitch because we didn't hire him, the charity did. And although we were in attendance at the rehearsal like good event producers, they were NOT.
Hitch 3) I need to give this hitch a little bit of a setup. The dinner was on the floor of the arena. We enclosed it with pipe and drape. Pipe and drape, for those not in the know, is basically the long metal tubes that hold up fabric so you have like fabric walls. Towards the end of the evening as the arena was starting to clean up, even though there were still guests there, they were wheeling out a giant coffee cart. This giant coffee cart gave them trouble wheeling it again but apparently they believe in some sort of magic making everything better and so they just shoved that thing right through the service entrance and so it got stuck on the big plastic thing they use to cover the sound and lighting wiring that runs across the floor. In doing so, they careened into one of the large pipes. And they lifted the plastic cover into the air tripping another arena employee, sending her falling into a wall of fabric. Here I am in the service area carefully scooping out fish from centerpiece and when I suddenly hear several crushes and screams and I feel kinda naked. The entire wall along that side TIPPED OVER. I found myself holding onto 20 foot long metal poles in my stilettos yelling on the walkies for "back-up". Guests were holding up pipes as well. Thankfully, everyone had either left or was on the dance floor. Not our hitch because we're not the morons who sent the wall crashing down. And actually it was the pipe and drape company's retarded decision to NOT SANDBAG THE GIANT PIPES BY THE MOST FREQUENTLY USED EXIT.

Honestly, it was a gorgeous event. r2 blew them away yet again. But I hope we never do it again. It was so unfulfilling and the client really didn't seem to care about anything other than raising money and J Secada strutting around with lipstick, telling a female guest that her husband was cute and proceeding to ask her if she liked "sandwiches."

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