There's these new tennants in our building. Young college girls I guess. Wow, they are so loud. I don't mean in a music-thumping-all-hours way but, for instance, they just came yelling down the hallway, and the door just slammed behind them. It's almost two in the morning- on a monday night. The other night, yelling and slamming went on for like an hour until a whole drunken herd of them piled into a car and drove off. I wonder how long they'll last. The lady that lives above them is a little old lady who lives alone and isn't the most tolerable lady out there. There, that's a nice way of explaining that. I, however, am not an old lady who lives alone so I don't find them annoying just surprising. This is usually a really quiet little neighborhood and loud, young groups of kids don't last long.

I'm trying to get my brain to slow down and focus. The problem is that I'm freezing and I'm coughing and so my attempts at plucking thoughts from the brain are just not working out so well. Ok, I raised the a/c above 70 and wrapped the throw around myself. Let's see what that does for me.

You know, I didn't want to be the kind of person who became obsessed with babies. I just wanted to let things be and let what may come, come- or not come. But, it's hard to do that. I can't stop looking at babies! And baby clothes! Oh and then there's the slightly irritating fact that since my mom knows we're trying to find something to buy, she looks at stuff. So why does she keep showing me two bedroom things? I keep telling her, "Mom, we NEED three bedrooms. Two bedrooms just isn't enough space for us!" Granted, I haven't told her about the whole maybe there'll be a bun in the oven soon thing but I don't exactly want to either. I have this totally weird feeling that she won't be very excited about it. More like, "Are you freaking serious? WHY?" Which makes me stop and think, "Am I crazy? Really, am I crazy?"

I've also been dealing with the whole school thing. M starts school next year supposedly. He was supposed to go to my mom's school but tuition there is $600 a month and she's not sure what a break, if any, she can get for him. That puts a huge damper on the whole thing. So I started looking into Montessori schools here and they're not much cheaper if at all. You know, a couple years ago if you told me that J and I would be making about $60K in one year, I'd be so happy. And yet, now I'm realizing just how little that is. I hate stressing about money but what choice do I have? If we land a mortgage payment of about $1600 a month, we're lucky. Tack onto that $300 for J's car and another $180 for insurance and we're at $2080. Then you add $600 for tuition? Ouch. And all the other monthly expenses like GAS and food and doctor bills and cell phones ($80)and electricity($150). And I guess forget my getting a new car. We'd be a family of three by then I think and so our grocery bill would be up and everything else. Ok I just gave myself the worst shoulder pain thinking about all of this.

I hate money stress. I hate it.

Oh man, Let's Talk About Sex just came on my launchcast station. LOL

So, should I talk about sex then? Haven't had any in a couple days since there's that whole period thing going on. Scary thing: I did that ovulation calendar on BabyHopes. First time I've ever done anything like that- have something tell me when I should be fertile and when I shouldn't and stuff like that. And it really just kicks the whole strangeness of planning for a pregnancy into the foreground again. Like it mentions that I start getting fertile on the 12th and should ovulate on the 15th I think it is. And THEN it tells you all this stuff about things to do and not do to increase your chances to have a girl. And this isn't old wive's tales stuff, it's just stuff that is based on biology. For instance, it says that if you have sex from the day your period ends to the day you ovulate, you increase your chances of having a girl because boy sperm are weaker than girl sperm. So they die off before the egg shows up mostly. It also mentions other stuff that, for whatever reason, I won't divulge here. But it's all on that site. So you can go there and find out for yourself the other suggestions. Not that any of it is going to work mind you. Because I'm going to have another boy. I just know it. I will be denied the purple. Not that there's much of it out there for baby girls. But still. OK, I will be denied the Plum Blossom and THAT is very sad. VERY sad.