2006-01-03 - 1:37 a.m. : I don't WANT things going back to normal
Well it's officially time to slam the brakes on the relaxation and the celebration and the everything that comes attached with the holidays. J has been on vacation since Friday December 23 and he goes back tomorrow. I am, somewhat shockingly, SO SAD. Usually when J is on vacation a couple days we just seem to clash and get in each other's ways and it just goes awry and I'm so thrilled when he goes back to work. But I guess because his vacation was so extended and I, in a way, was on vacation as well, we got over the clashing and the intrusion early on. I really don't want him to go back tomorrow.

Today, R2 sent me an email of things I need to research in time for a meeting with a client on Friday that I might have to go to which means that I most probably will have to go to really. I looked at the list today and said, Ok fine. And then spent the last day with my happy husband and enjoyed it. He goes back to work tomorrow and so will I.

We took M to the park today. Actually, J and R wanted to play some basketball and so I insisted they choose a park that had a playground so I could distract M. The park was great except that M is totally scared of playgrounds. It's so CRAZY. I think it's cause they're foreign to him. My apartment complex doesn't have a playground of its own (it really should considering the number of small children living here) and I'm just such a home dweller. So he never sees these things and he's such a cautious kid. I know he'll get better if he just sees them again and again so I really want to make an effort to take him to the park more often. I'm thinking if I can get a good chunk of work done during the early part of the day while he's most prone to playing by himself and during his newly reinstated naptime of 3 - 4:30, I should be able to get him out of bed, dressed, and to the park for a little run around. By the time we get back J will be coming home soon and the rest of the evening can be relaxing. Now the problem is of course DOING ALL OF THAT. And I don't mean to go to the park every day. But I should make that time right after the nap the time to run errands. He's rested and not too cranky and it goes so much easier. I just have to get out of my house more often. And along with all that expose him to the park thing, I need to expose him to KIDS more too. Which is a double edged sword for me. M is generally a really sweet and polite kid. He plays really nicely and stuff. It's great watching him play. But when he gets with other kids, he can pick up some stuff that just makes me bristle. I'm not used to seeing M rough-house with anyone who's not an adult. So I get really nervous when he plays with other kids a lot more physically than I'm used to. Is that funny or what? I like to laugh at myself lately. No wonder I'm so laid back around M-- he does NOTHING to worry about. He doesn't climb scary things. He doesn't jump from scary things. He just doesn't DO scary things. He can make a great big mess but I don't walk into the living room to find him parading on the coffee table or on the topmost shelf of my desk. My son jumps up and down holding on to the sofa. He's never had a bad fall either or anything crazy like that so it's just kinda odd witnessing all of that and totally reassuring too.
Anyways, I feel like I've totally wandered off some path of sense. I'm thinking about going to bed but I'm not sure if I'll just lie there uncomfortable and bother J.


P.S. I want a puppy.

0 of you have had really deep thoughts
last * next
Waiting 4 Sadie - 2006-05-30
Do Over - 2006-05-02
An end and a beginning - 2006-04-22
Brain Bun - 2006-04-11
What Dreams May Come - 2006-04-04

The American Red Cross