2006-01-23 - 2:41 a.m. : To bed I said
I'm going to bed now. I'm in a really strange mood, not necessarily bad or good just strange. I'm craving champagne which is kind of amusing. I should pick up some grape juice tomorrow. Oh tomorrow. Maybe that's what has me awkward. I feel like the weekend has just vanished and suddenly I'm finding myself at the edge of a precarious week. The first couple of days are just promising to be really hectic. I have to pick up and deposit checks, go to meetings, go for the ultrasound, apply for graduation, have more meetings, etc. There are good things but still. There's also the matter of the home inspection taking place some time soon please thanks. And really I just want to KNOW about this stupid mortgage already. A house just isn't sold until it's sold, and a house isn't bought until it's bought. I'm so incredibly nervous.

Maybe that's what the weirdness is about. This limbo feeling of excitement versus anxiety about two really important things at the exact same time. I have the ultrasound on Tuesday where we will hopefully find out if we're expecting a boy or a girl. And maybe I'm just putting too much on this ultrasound. I keep waiting for it to really just get excited about being pregnant. And yet, I am excited just not all of the time. And there's the anxiety about the house and the money. My back is in serious pain and discomfort lately and I know that neither the growing baby up front or the mounting tension is helping.

I have a playdate scheduled for Thursday. I'm excited. I miss G. She's so cute. And I want M to have friends and such and N is adorable. He's sweet too so I think they're a good match. We're going to a park. Should be fun. She's dying to see the little belly.

Ok well off to bed. And hopefully I'll have some nice dreams. They can be weird just nice please.

0 of you have had really deep thoughts
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