2006-02-21 - 3:43 a.m. : Shop shop shop
Still packing, still cleaning, still wondering. Pack, clean, wonder. Oh yes and knit. I've taught myself to knit this past weekend and have come to rely on it to really just take my mind off things. I notice that the less time my mind spends on things the less prone to snapping I am. Oddly enough, I am still resisting packing up my workspace. I clean and poke and have forbidden myself to use it until after we've moved but my eyes keep wandering to it and resting on the glue and the glitter and the embroidery floss, and the box of ephermera. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't indulged the knitting whim I just would never pack up that space. So at least I'm giving myself less room for excuses. Funny enough, this book I've gotten myself did a really good job of explaining things to me. The only problem I have found is the patterns it gives you to practice things on. For instance, I keep reading how in other books the first project you often make is a scarf in only the garter stitch- the most basic of all, to really just practice. But the first project this book gives you is a hat done in ribbing stitch. I was really nervous but decided what the hell, just cast on and if you get really frustrated, you could always just unravel the whole thing. I think that's my favorite thing about knitting- you can always just pull it apart.
My computer desk is mostly packed. It has knick knacks lying around and somethings I just can't pack until the end.And yet somehow, it's still a mess with all kinds of things strewn on top of it, random things. Through all of this I really just keep finding myself fazed at the idea of moving. I cannot stress enough how unreal this all feels.
The people downstairs are making some CRAZY amounts of noise. Yelling and stuff, having a good time. It's surprising because I *KNOW* these neighbors of ours and they're anal about much smaller things than lots of loud noises late on a weekday night. Maybe they're all really heavy sleepers?
I had a horrific dream last night that I went into labor a month early and was RACKED with pain in my dream. This pregnancy is so weird in that it just feels like I'm so much farther along than I really am. I keep freaking myself out when I catch a glimpse in the mirror of the size of the belly. Or suddenly my hands will graze it and it's like whoa. Or I'll find that no matter what I try I very simply cannot make myself comfortable. The other day I swore it was sweltering hot and everyone, EVERYONE, looked at me like I'd finally lost my mind and then, even worse, they all had the same expression change- they had the oh no that's right, you're pregnant look. Bah humbug. My order of maternity clothes from Old Navy should arrive on Wednesday. At least that's what the UPS site says. Yay for cute clothes that fit and aren't a pain to get in and out of. I was recently disappointed to find that my favorite pair of maternity jeans look AWFUL on me right now and just don't fit at all. And I never really kept much from my first pregnancy for two reasons- one, I didn't BUY much and two, I was really ruthless with what I did buy and keep. So for instance, I lived in these tank tops I'd found at JCPenney but because I lived in them, they shrank and faded so they got donated. As did some other shirts. Most of my pants were just pretty sweatpants and they looked beat up too so out the door they went. Bottom line is I kept one pair of jeans, two dresses, and two tops. The jeans' drawstring has frayed overtime so they're huge and unflattering as hell. The dresses are fine but look too big to me anyways and the same goes with the tops. Right now I am doing really well with tops in a size Medium instead of the usual Small I wear. And for jeans, I'm pretty much addicted to these Brazillian jeans a friend of mine gave me ages ago. They are lowcut and only stretch as they're meant to really flatter some curves. They have actually turned out to be the best maternity jeans EVER even though I'm sure that's hardly what they were intended for. My only problem with them is how insanely low cut they are and I have to keep mindful because we all know that crack is wack. I've got the shopping bug pretty bad so I just can't wait to fondle some of these items when they come in.

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Waiting 4 Sadie - 2006-05-30
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